- cross-posted to:
- programmerhumor@lemmy.ml
- cross-posted to:
- programmerhumor@lemmy.ml
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Hook it up to a bong and you’ve suddenly made work a hell of a lot more interesting.
The real vibe coding
Instead of the tech of RecDep of 1984, we get the SlopShop.
How about we just get to the logical conclusion:
✨ Techbro Land ✨
Hook them up to a simulation, yes, like The Matrix! In this simulation they get to do everything they dream of.
Crypto shitcoins as far as the eye can see. Their stonks all go to the moon. Everybody is prompting Ai any time their neurons accidentally bump together. The simulation will accurately simulate an entire earth population just prompting AI and glued to their phones. Look! More profits! Wow.
Ai gambling! Ai sports! Ai art! Ai dating! Ai social media! Ai business! Ai porn! It’s all here in ✨ Techbro Land ✨.
We can even accurately simulate mass misery of the general population so our little tenants feel superior! Meanwhile, the Techbro doesn’t need to sleep. They believe they unlocked the code to Immortality by micro dosing various hallucinogens and stimulants, allowing them to spend 100% of their day in a chair reviewing an Ai agent’s reviewing of vibe code!
There are no “regulations” or even governments in ✨ Techbro Land ✨ . There’s a single AI Simulated Singularity (A.S.S) TechBroKing Fascist that makes all the memes, and punishes all the poor working consumption class. Every living situation is AirBnB. All the cars are self driving 24 ton pickups. Trains only exist to ship drones and supplies for infinite data centers and government contracts.
Computing is subscription only, games are rented by the minute, nobody owns anything.
Profits go up and up and up and up and up without end. No climate change, despite the global temperature going up 12⁰C, wars are fought daily with killer robots…I could go on.
The important thing is: These little hoodie-clad megalomanics can’t even tell they’re actually just locked safely away from the rest of us in stasis in a former mega data center.
…The rest of us, in the real world, take the best of our computing standards with us, and dial all the bullshit back to like 2004 and try this shit again.
This is such a Kafkaesque cyberpunk dystopian problem. This is needed because owners and managers want open offices for surveillance and coat cutting. They are also aware that only about half of workers thrive in those environments while the other have drops in productivity. Solution a cheap muzzle so that the workers who aren’t as productive in noisy environments aren’t disturbed.
Meanwhile could you imagine the smell of those things. You’d have to wash them everyday or have some kind of cover for them not to just have a permanent funk.
chat, is this real?
Chat are we cooked fr?
Anyone needs handmade wooden furniture?
Because that’s what i’m going to be switching careers to if that trend comes to my place.
Woodworking is surprisingly popular among tech folk. It seems some hobbies just click better for techies. Bouldering is another example.
Sewing/designing clothes really clicked for me. Haven’t tried woodworking, but I imagine it scratches the same itch and utilizes similar skills: 90% of sewing is just planning, calculation, and measuring. Then, watch everything just fit together into place
Never hesitate to rescue wooden pallets, but don’t waste gas on retrieving them either. You can use an iron railroad tie as a chisel for dismantling them
high end office headsets already have excellent isolation, wearing a muzzle is just a humiliation ritual.
how does a headset isolate their voice
I imagine it’s like the Active Noise Canceling (ANC) mode of headphones which will monitor background noise and then calculate the inverse sound wave and play that sound to you which in effect mostly cancels out the background noise (works better for certain frequencies than others). For a microphone they could do the same but instead of playing you the inverse sound, they could play it through the microphone for whomever is listening.
Fuck if I know, all I know is you can sit next to a blender in a busy office full of crying babies and barking dogs while writing a dissertation on an electric typewriter and the person on the other end of the line would never be able to tell. Professional headsets (like in the $300-$500 range) are honestly pretty incredible. If these silicon valley offices are too noisy for a high end EOS to handle, or if they genuinely have that many people constantly talking all day to the point that it’s a problem then they need to go back to the drawing board. Steno masks have their place but for anything a garden variety techbro is doing they’re either performative bullshit or a lazy bandaid. I guaranfuckingtee bossman has no interest in putting one of these on.
Source?
It’s Do the evolution by Pearl Jam
It’s evolution, baby
So what is the real purpose? Surely this can’t be it. Trying to solve a problem that has been solved more efficiently tons of times.
Just be like me and assume it’s a shitpost until proven otherwise. If it’s real then he’s probably testing a specialised equipment
So typing isn’t fast enough to burn all the daily tokens?
Have you seen people type? Toich-typing is a lost artform.
They don’t even have to do that. Just don’t pack them in like sardines.
Most type faster than they speak, no?
The faster you burn them the sooner you knock off for the day.
the faster you burn them the sooner you burnout
“knock off for the day?” Not until you’ve trained your replacement (LLM)! Then you can take all the time you like, income-free
If I’m being forced to spend AI tokens up in a day I’m spending the rest job hunting.
if you talk AND type you can burn twice the tokens and get the same result! it’s a win win win
Lets assume AI can produce production ready code without any problems (this is what these CEOs likely believe anyway). Something that can produce thousands of lines of code per minute is not enough for these greedy fucks that now they want prompts given by speaking so that things move even faster?
I can type a lot faster than I can speak
Its not even about the speed. Typing allows me to properly get my thoughts out. If something sounds incorrect or confusing, I can always go back and change it before sending. You can’t unsay words as easily.
Or, listen me out, they could work from home.
Working from home doesn’t appeal to the emotional needs of fragile managers.
It doesn’t appeal to the emotional needs of a bunch of my colleagues who are in the office every day voluntarily either.
Yeah, I have colleagues who choose to work in the office when work from home is available because they like the separation of work from home, don’t have a good spot to work from home, are aware they would be distracted at home, prefer to see other people in person, and a bunch of other reasons. At least they get a choice!
Every day I’m a little surprised there’s no news story of some workers beating their “no, you have to come into the office” manager to death. They’ve got means, motive, and opportunity, and it’s extra funny because if they’d been allowed to work at home they wouldn’t have at least two of those.
But really we’re ruled by the worst of us. Cowards and fools.
Maybe unionizing is safer than hitting the decision makers with an office chair while screaming “you made this possible” until they can’t even cry anymore.
Well what I’m trying to tell you is that there are probably more people than you realise who want to be in the office. My partner, and a bunch of my coworkers, hated being forced to work from home during the pandemic. So maybe that’s part of the reason.
Oh, I read your thing backwards then.
I can’t imagine wanting to go into the office on the regular. The commute. The lost time (can math out to like a 20% pay cut, if you spend two hours a day traveling + getting ready). The sickness. The lack of control over environment (temperature, sound).
Can’t relate to it. And I’m a very social person that likes interacting with people.
I live 15 minutes from work. If I got out of bed early enough I could easily bike there (and have done so).
Really the only thing I miss from work from home is the ability to take a short break once per hour to do some bodyweight exercises or kettbell swings during lunch.
But on the flipside, it’s hard for me to stay concentrated while at home. I personally get way more work done in the office.
But on the flipside, it’s hard for me to stay concentrated while at home.
While I believe that is true for you, I don’t believe it justifies the lost time, health, and environmental damage of mandating in-office for everyone.
The office is super distracting for many people.
Company-issued slop muzzles
