Published: April 27, 2026
The onion is just a crystal ball at this point
Been that way since they did Bush’s inauguration speech. He didn’t accomplish everything the Onion mentioned, but he sure tried.
Damn, I didn’t know that they’ve been around that long.
Their “holy shit, man walks on fucking moon” is also a classic
My sweet summer child, I’ve been reading The Onion since I was in college in the mid 90s
I knew which article you linked before I even clicked it. Do you think that onion writers discovered the secrets to time travel, but are only able to reveal what they know through satire due to convoluted time travel rules? That’s obviously the only rational explanation.
it’s not time travel. If you just listen to Republicans, they’ll gleefully explain the nightmare world they want to create. All the Onion did was treat it as a threat rather than fantasy.
Damn, the onion is just a prediction machine these days
It’s not even satire
@Amuro_eat @silence7 Well, it could get worse, as @derpostillon (a german satire site) predicts…
https://mastodon.social/@derpostillon/117411086897500458Fuck, it’ll probably get to that. I’m fully expecting a Running Man scenario soon enough to be normalized and all these shit eating piece of shit americans will cheer it on. I just hope we get an embargo slapped on us here, this shit country deserves to suffer.
It was when published
Yep
The Onion is just regular news now jfc
The onion is just reporting the news now.
