I don’t have a problem. I can quit any time I like. I only swipe recreationally. Every five minutes. Maybe I’m in denial. First stage, right?

update: Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship. Swiping just enables it. Tried quitting once. Worst 5 minutes of my life.

update: There’s this 12-step program… Step one was turning off predictive text. Didn’t make it to step two.